Well I'm out on my very first placement, now which is all very scary indeed. I have been sent to the same kind of area as the care home I used to work in, and cant believe the difference in standards. Both these places were given a good rating under the old CQC rating yet at placement there is two care staff for every ten residents, one nurse to 15 residents and a whole host of cleaners, launderers and kitchen staff. Where I used to work there were no support staff only two cleaners who often doubled up as carers. Fully staffed on a morning shift there was essentially one carer to 10 residents and an afternoon or bad morning it was one to 15. The senior was one to thirty residents and often didn't work the floor. Everyone keeps saying its the difference between residential and nursing home care. But the clients at placement have similar profiles and the work is ten times easier as you are not running around cooking food, doing all the dishes etc.
Ive been loving placement, the first day I was quite scared. I was unhappy that the nurse who was put in charge of me just dumped me on the wing and couldn't find him for the rest of the day. The problem is my mentor is away for four weeks of my eight week placement, and it works out that it is the first two and final two weeks of placement. I'm learning I need to be more assertive with my learning tho. Its great to hang out with the clients and work alongside the support workers but and its a big but im there as a student nurse and need to learn the nursey skills as well. Ive realized Im slightly terrified of asking to see things but there have been a few positives recently, like I got to do the doctors rounds the other day, only observing but it was great to see why they made certain medication decisions, and that they were caring enough to reduce the residents antipsyhcotics whilst upping the sedating pain killers to avoid an increase in sedation. I'm going to go in today and stick more closely with the nurse, if I get dumped with the support workers again Ill help for a while then wander back as I need to pass my learning objectives though with the mentor situation it hasn't been done yet :S
Apart from that things haven't been great, my lovely pet rat ruby died a few days ago. Shed had breathing problems for a while wasn't eating well and wasn't responding to antibiotics. Shes only just over a year old and to be honest her cheekiness made her my favorite. Rip little one :(
I also seem to have had a reemergence of ptsd, over the easter holidays, I guess Ive been blaming myself for the way old job ended and I keep wondering if it was my fault as I didn't stand up for myself more when awful situation happened, but then I think I had extensive second degree burns and was in shock, so it was my employer that was in the wrong. Its just to this day I cannot believe that I didn't just walk out even when I was told I couldn't go. I cant believe I went back, I could have asked the doctor to sign me off sick until my notice period ran out,but then I was scared about money and starting uni to. The home manager made it clear to me that she blamed me for not being assertive enough in the situation, simply because of my past and it was a man in charge of that shift. I feel very angry that she would use that against me. Yeah I have problems with men, I have a hard time relating to them but then when you've been controlled, bullied, beaten and raped it does follow that you may be a bit wary of the male species.
It didn't help that over the easter holidays I tried to start taking a bit more responsibility over my diabetes and pcos. So I made an appointment to see the diabetic nurse at my practice, she was a lot nicer than the last one I saw who just berated me for having being diabetic and having a history of bulimia. She accepted that I am not my past and that I have moved on quite considerably in the last few years. But it turns out that there was infection showing in my wee sample. Ive been aware for quite a while that there is something amiss up there but haven't seen anyone about it as I find people looking/being up there very traumatic, unless I'm very very drunk. Anyway I let her do the examination because I know it needed to be sorted out and she did the smear test while she was up there. I started crying as the sensation of something being up there just brought the flashbacks, something I haven't had for a while. I kept feeling it, and every time it happened I felt very very tearful and panicky. I keep telling myself off though it was a medical examination not that bastard.
I'm just trying to keep busy now talking about it does help and hopefully will make it better eventually as there is someone in my life whose been waiting around for it to be okay for four years now, I love him but so far cant allow the relationship to happen coz im scared :(
Ive been loving placement, the first day I was quite scared. I was unhappy that the nurse who was put in charge of me just dumped me on the wing and couldn't find him for the rest of the day. The problem is my mentor is away for four weeks of my eight week placement, and it works out that it is the first two and final two weeks of placement. I'm learning I need to be more assertive with my learning tho. Its great to hang out with the clients and work alongside the support workers but and its a big but im there as a student nurse and need to learn the nursey skills as well. Ive realized Im slightly terrified of asking to see things but there have been a few positives recently, like I got to do the doctors rounds the other day, only observing but it was great to see why they made certain medication decisions, and that they were caring enough to reduce the residents antipsyhcotics whilst upping the sedating pain killers to avoid an increase in sedation. I'm going to go in today and stick more closely with the nurse, if I get dumped with the support workers again Ill help for a while then wander back as I need to pass my learning objectives though with the mentor situation it hasn't been done yet :S
Apart from that things haven't been great, my lovely pet rat ruby died a few days ago. Shed had breathing problems for a while wasn't eating well and wasn't responding to antibiotics. Shes only just over a year old and to be honest her cheekiness made her my favorite. Rip little one :(
I also seem to have had a reemergence of ptsd, over the easter holidays, I guess Ive been blaming myself for the way old job ended and I keep wondering if it was my fault as I didn't stand up for myself more when awful situation happened, but then I think I had extensive second degree burns and was in shock, so it was my employer that was in the wrong. Its just to this day I cannot believe that I didn't just walk out even when I was told I couldn't go. I cant believe I went back, I could have asked the doctor to sign me off sick until my notice period ran out,but then I was scared about money and starting uni to. The home manager made it clear to me that she blamed me for not being assertive enough in the situation, simply because of my past and it was a man in charge of that shift. I feel very angry that she would use that against me. Yeah I have problems with men, I have a hard time relating to them but then when you've been controlled, bullied, beaten and raped it does follow that you may be a bit wary of the male species.
It didn't help that over the easter holidays I tried to start taking a bit more responsibility over my diabetes and pcos. So I made an appointment to see the diabetic nurse at my practice, she was a lot nicer than the last one I saw who just berated me for having being diabetic and having a history of bulimia. She accepted that I am not my past and that I have moved on quite considerably in the last few years. But it turns out that there was infection showing in my wee sample. Ive been aware for quite a while that there is something amiss up there but haven't seen anyone about it as I find people looking/being up there very traumatic, unless I'm very very drunk. Anyway I let her do the examination because I know it needed to be sorted out and she did the smear test while she was up there. I started crying as the sensation of something being up there just brought the flashbacks, something I haven't had for a while. I kept feeling it, and every time it happened I felt very very tearful and panicky. I keep telling myself off though it was a medical examination not that bastard.
I'm just trying to keep busy now talking about it does help and hopefully will make it better eventually as there is someone in my life whose been waiting around for it to be okay for four years now, I love him but so far cant allow the relationship to happen coz im scared :(
