I'm feeling pretty anxious at the moment, and its all because I decided to quit my job. The weird thing is though Im not worrying about finances, its more just a general sense of anxiety. Some pretty awful things have happened to me there in the last 5 months and I guess I have really struggled to adjust to me actually taking actions to say actually Big scary care home this is not okay that you treat your staff like this. Its think its awful that I feel so anxious about the simple fact that I have quit, yet I know it was the right desision and I should have left months ago. The crunch came when I burst into tears at finding out my first practice placement at university. I have been looking forward to going out on placement since starting the course,but when I found out my placement is the same kind of setting as big scary care home, I was really upset. Its not that Im unhappy that ive been given this particular sector to work in, I just think I have been so worried that Ill end up taking bad practice across whereas if I had been given a different health sector I may go in there with little prior knowledge and actually learn good practice from scratch. Anyway I spoke to my placement liason tutor, and they have given me really good advice. But this has meant Ive not only quit my job, Ive left without working my notice as I need a break from this setting so my anxieties can settle down before I go out on placement.
Ive been at university for three months now and I have been loving it, there is loads of reading to do but im okay with that as I love reading. The lectures are really interesting as well there is the odd bad day where they try and teach 6 million things at once, but in general these things are few and far between. The only real complaint Ive got about the uni is the fact they couldn't organize they're way out of a paper bag. The lecturers all communicate with students in different ways via different systems so you have to log into different things to get different announcements, And then theres the lecture hoping, where you go in for a timetabled lecture and find that its been moved to a different day.
Its all good though Ive passed my first assignment at 58% which I'm happy with, in fact most of our cohort passed. I think the best part about uni though is that it is having a very positive effect on my lifestyle. It has made me engage in the counselling process more throughly so that I deal with the crap from childhood. I'm getting more excercize as I'm cycling to uni which is about 4 miles away and sometimes even catching the bus in and walking home. As well as eating better, making my own soups and curries to take into uni and eat at home I'm still eating an inordinate amount of crap as well though!! Its given me another job that I absolutely love. It doesn't have enough shifts to really support myself financially, but I do it anyway as it involves a lot of supporting people out in the community.
Wow writing this has been very theraputic, Ive been feeling pretty negative recently and anxious but hey without big scary care home life can be pretty good :D
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